Why I buy cheap toothbrushes.

Toothbrushes are one of those necessities of modern life I haven't been able to find a more eco-friendly way around yet. I'm not at the point -- nor do I think I will ever be -- when I revert back to pioneer days and clean my (1 or 2) teeth with a cloth rag. Anyway, toothbrushes are one of the drugstore items I always try to get free or near free using coupons and sales.

My best price (other than free!) is 5 for $1 at the dollar store. But, through the magic of double coupons, I got a fancy toothbrush for free a few weeks ago. I just used my coupons, bought it, and brought it home. Imagine my surprise the first time I used it, when it started vibrating in my mouth! I have never used anything other than a manual toothbrush (for reasons too lengthy to get into here), and I was shocked and not unpleastantly surprised by the sensation.

Anyway.

The honeymoon period with this vibrating wonder did not last long, however. I soon realized that this particular toothbrush shed bristles like nobodies business. Every time I brushed my teeth, it seems, bristles would get stuck in my teeth, on the roof of my mouth, and left in the sink. Annoying, but not a big deal.

Until yesterday.

I was distracted while brushing my teeth, and finished the job quickly, not paying attention to what I was doing. A few minutes later, when I tried to swallow, I realized to my dismay that a giant bristle was stuck in my throat. Not choking me or anything, but literally jabbing into my tonsils. Well, I actually don't have tonsils. But where my tonsils would be. It was just far back enough so I couldn't cough it up, no matter how hard I tried.

I gargled with salt water, shaking my head back and forth, making sounds barely human. If the neighbors chose that moment to look in our kitchen window, they probably would have called a Catholic priest.

No luck. I never thought I would be in a position of *wanting* to swallow something plastic. Ugh.

I will never buy a toothbrush from anywhere but the dollar store again.

From May 6, 2011